Rant of the Moment: Creepsters

If you are a woman, you will surely be able to relate to this post on some level. Creepsters happen to all of us.

During my time in Buenos Aires I have had 4 fanáticos of varying degrees of creepiness, dangerousness and general ability to annoy the crap out of me. They ranged from ages 19-40 and were all pretty different. However, they all had these things in common: arrogance, persistence and creepiness. Their persistence is what really made them stand out because let's face it, creepsters are a part of any woman's life, especially women in Argentina. However, admitting that fact does not pardon creepsters, so here is my open letter to the creepsters of the world.

Dear Creepsters,

You are pathetic. No self-respecting woman would even walk on the same dog-piss stained sidewalk as you if they could avoid it. No one cares if you have money, it certainly couldn't buy you class and we can earn our own money and buy our own damn dinner. Quit staring at our chests and acting like our breasts should be honored to have your grubby eyes' attention. Your gaze makes us want to shower for days on end. Calling us queens and sweethearts while you drool all over your dirty face is not going to win us over. Believe it or not, we are not flattered by your use of pet names while you try to get our attention as we speed walk through your Creepster stench. We know you think you are God's gift to women and we would be so lucky to be graced with your company, but chances are you live with your parents and expect us to relish the idea of cooking you dinner. Turns out we went to college, have our own apartments, practice proper social etiquette and are and always will be better at life than you.

To those creepsters who were lucky enough to weasel some sort of interaction out of us: please do us a favour and forget what we look like, where we live, our phone numbers and that you were ever allowed to interact with us in any way.

Lastly, stop making excuses for our rejection by calling us prudes or lesbians and saying we need to "get some". We would rather let the entire human population die off than go through the agony of a night with slimy loser like yourself.

Sincerely,
The women of modern society.



Ladies- What was your biggest Creepster nightmare?

Men- Have you ever been guilty of being a Creepster or being friends of one? Also, please note that I'm not saying Men=Creepsters. It's a separate breed.

Crazy Nights and Lazy Days

Small Victories:

• Found Quaker square cereal. Finding any cereal that isn't frosted flakes or some random sugary version of kids cereals is quite a task here. Also, it reminds me of Rachel because this is her favorite cereal. Yeah, I know my ex-roommates that well. In fact, I am well aware that Abby would not have a problem with Frosted Flakes being everywhere, because she loves them. Roxy, on the other hand, would be more enthused about the fresh fruit and veggies stands here because she is not a huge cereal eater. --end of roommate tangent.
  
• Tested out several food delivery places- sushi, Chinese, pizza, empanadas and ice cream. All of them were a huge success.
• Went dancing at an all you can drink club.
  
• Took part in the "Buy 1 kilo get a 1/2 kilo free" ice cream awesomeness again. I got the old favourites- Banana Split and Dulce de leche as well as some new flavours to try- Mint Chip and Almond Cream.
• I have a pile of monedas (coins) saved up. This sounds odd but there is a freaking coin shortage here and you can only use coins on the buses so it can be a total pain in the ass to get places. Luckily, since I haven't been spending coins to get to San Isidro and back every day I have been using all my tricks to get coins as change and hoarding them like a granny.

So last week was fairly eventful. I have been adding new students at Profesores Nativos. I have started with 2 of them and I have 2 more that I should be starting with soon. Unfortunately, I wasn't really able to quit American Forum as I had planned. I sent my resignation email, I told them I couldn't afford the taxes but would be willing to finish out 2 weeks and pay them once. They approached me and said they like me and want me to stay so they are willing to pay me under the table as long as I stay with the 2 students I am with through December. F. I have always sucked at quitting jobs.

I like my students at American Forum, more or less. The 30 year old is a pretty bad student, but he is nice enough. I have been doing an intensive immersion program with a couple who are in town for a week and take classes 8 hours a day. I'm one of 5 teachers working the program. I like the couple and they are easy to work with. One of my Profesores Nativos students is a total creepster, though. I tutor at his apartment, which is a 38 story complex for ridiculously rich people. It has a pool, gym, several lounges, a tennis court and even a mini cinema that seats 20 people. (See photo for the view of the pool). I know all these things because the guy, Carlos, really feels the need to not only tell me about them, but take me on a tour of the facilities so I can be oh-so-impressed. Last night he not only tried to get me to stay for tea but also insisted we must play tennis at the tennis court because I mentioned I played tennis as a child. He also drives me home and felt the need to tell me he has the SUV and also a Mercedes Benz from the States. Ugh.

My Friday night sounds pretty uneventful but I actually thought it was pretty enjoyable. I was going to see a movie with Jenny but nothing good is out here and she was too tired to venture into the city. I took my laptop to a cafe nearby and got some "apple pie" (their version is not nearly as tasty) and a cafe con leche (basically a latte). It also came with some adorable little heart shaped cookies. I really enjoy that when you order a coffee or tea here, it often comes with some sort of unexpected surprise. Sometimes it is cookies, or an incredibly tiny glass of water (which is actually really nice since they charge for water here), a tiny glass of orange juice, mini toast, etc. It's adorable and I just love the surprise. I got a ton of work done on the site I am working on with Alex. I'm not really going to say much about that project, but I do really love working with Alex again (we worked together at Announce Media) and I am pretty excited about the work we are doing.

I made up for my tranquil Friday night with a crazy Saturday. Jorge came over for lunch and brought 2 random Germans I will never see again. One of them somehow knew Jorge's ex from the States and the other was just a friend. Anyways, we ordered Sushi and it was delicious. Jenny showed up later and we decided to get coffee and maybe a snack. We came upon this waffle and crepes place right by my apartment. Waffles basically don't exist here so I have been meaning to try this place. We both indulged in some insanely sweet treats. I got a waffle with bananas, dulce de leche, chocolate and a scoop of ice cream. Jenny got a crepe with tons of chocolate and dulce de leche, also with ice cream. We both got a Baileys Irish Cream frozen coffee. Super delicious.

Saturday night Jenny, Rosie and I ordered Chinese food and it wasn't bad. However, Chinese food doesn't automatically come with rice here - a fact we sadly forgot - so we ended up with several boxes of chicken in various sauces. It was still tasty. After dinner we met up with Jorge to see a local band he knows, Lenny's Wife and the Boys. They are all expats from different countries and they were pretty good. After 6 liters of beer between the 5 of us, Rosie, Jenny and I headed to a party. The party got canceled/moved so I called Joan and asked him where he was and we ended up meeting him at this club called Amerika. Once you paid to get in it was open bar and lots of dancing. It is a gay club so there were a lot of ridiculous, interesting and fun people. I only had to tell off a few gross dudes. It was a blast.

Jenny and Rosie crashed at my place because we got in around 6am. I made about 10 pieces of toast with various toppings before we fell asleep because all of us really wanted bread for some reason. Jenny and Rosie slept til 3. Our outdoor plans were ruined by rain so we proceeded to have the laziest day ever. We ordered pizza and empanadas and watched Mean Girls in my bed while we ate. After that, we popped in Aladdin. After Aladdin, we ordered ice cream and watched UP. They went home around 10 and we ended our super lazy day of food and movies. Excellent way to end a weekend.

Okay, wow, that was a lot. Life is good here. I promise, I'm happy!