(Still) Sick of Goodbyes

I think it's time to dedicate another post to saying goodbye to people. Being an expat means that I am constantly having to say goodbye to friends and try to make new ones. I wrote my first Sick of Goodbyes post only about a month after my arrival. Since then, many people have come and gone, but I'd like to highlight a few.

Jenny
I met Jenny my 2nd day in Buenos Aires. She was a fellow Au Pair and we seemed to click as soon as we met, even if she and I occasionally had trouble understanding each other's accents/slang. Turns out US Midwesterners rarely meet Northern Irish girls. We spent a couple months discussing playing Squash before she and I created Squash Wednesdays, a day dedicated to playing Squash and going out for lunch. Jenny left in December, we said goodbye as she climbed into a taxi. Very cliche, but sad all the same.

Jenny and I, so different but an excellent duo

Sara
Sara saved me from a painfully boring conversation at a yoga event. After she rescued me from a over the top hippie couple, we bonded over the fact that we had both brought our dogs with us from the US. We spent a lot of time walking our culture-shocked puppies together. She left just a few weeks ago and I still haven't quite adjusted to Buenos Aires without her.

Sara and I at the LCD Soundsystem concert

Phil 
Phil and I met in Boot Camp class. We quickly realized that we motivated the other by being slightly competitive. He kicked my ass in arms, I came out ahead in legs. He's been one of my key male-friends, reminding me that life in Argentina does not mean I cannot have a conversation with a guy who isn't trying to sleep with me. He'll be leaving Monday and he will be missed!

Nina
Nina and I also met in Boot Camp class. We are boot camp regulars and live only a few blocks away from each other, so between classes and our night runs together, we see each other almost every day. She is also my fabulous hair stylist. Nina will be going back to Sweden at the end of May and I will be very sad to lose a friend, running partner and the best hair stylist I've ever had!

Nina showing off her work when she cut Phil, Jenny and I's hair

I wish everyone would stop leaving! I also wish I could visit my friends back home. I miss you all!

Knowing When to Say Goodbye

It was this time last year that I decided to move to Buenos Aires. Of course, it took me months to plan the move and actually leave, but I did it. I heard this song the other day and I felt like I could really relate to the lyrics:

I'm bored of this town, bored of this scene, bored of these people, yeah.
I'm an expert at pretending that everything is OK,
But I'm just a kid and it seems as if I've signed my life away.
I need to get out and see what the rest of the world is about.
This town ain't big enough for the one of me, I'm making a move.

My mom and cousin Jodi- 1/2 of the family I have in STL

The thing is, as much as I appreciate St. Louis as a city, the only reason I started seeing it as the place I wanted to end up was because of my ex and his family. I loved him and that family so much that I knew that no matter where I went in the country or the world, I'd want to come home to them. I'm not ashamed to say that and I definitely don't think there is anything wrong with that. St. Louis is a great place to live, especially if you have a family to stay for, but I don't anymore. Of course that's sad, but it is also liberating.  

Being away from St. Louis allows me to see my city for what it is. A place full of free activities, amazing parks, excellent food, open mic nights and the St. Louis Blues. I will always be proud to say I am from St. Louis, but I have no intention of living there ever again. 

Ryan (3) and I on my last day at St. Cecilia's

St. Louis simply wasn't enough for me anymore. I don't want it to sound like I hated St. Louis, the people or even my life there. In fact, it wasn't like that at all. I went to college in St. Louis and adored it. I will forever be a proud Webster graduate. I freed myself of terrible office life and landed a dream job as a bilingual preschool teacher and translator for an amazing school right out of college.  To this day I would still say it was the best job I have ever had. My time at St. Cecilia School is something I am so grateful for and I will never forget it. It was truly incredible to be able to wake up every day and always want to go to work. Those preschoolers needed me and I needed them back. I know I wouldn't have made it through all the miserable stuff I was dealing with this time last year without them. I felt so lucky to be a part of my students' lives. I also loved the community of the teachers. I adored being the youngest teacher and feeling both new and respected. Quitting that job was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. So, why did I do it?

As a teacher, you watch kids grow up. You tell them they can be anything. If they love Miley Cyrus (as so many of them did), you tell them that they can be as famous as her. If they love to draw, you tell them that they can be an artist. Children and Spanish are two of my greatest passions, so in some ways, I was living the dream. However, as you grow older, you realize that you may have more than one dream that needs to be realized. I had dreamt of moving abroad, speaking Spanish every day and taking on a whole new social and professional challenge. In the past, I had settled for trips abroad so I could stay based in St. Louis, but it was time to let go. 

I wanted to to earn a college degree.  I earned two.

I wanted to see another country. I saw 4. 

I wanted to get a job that used at least one of my degrees. I got to use them both. 

I wanted my job to feel like a honor. Nothing is a greater honor than to be a part of the life and development of such amazing children. 

Fishbowl Margaritas on Cherokee Street

No one could say I had failed. However, for me, success is continual. If I stayed, I'd never know if I could have done more. I had to show my kids that being drastic and dreaming big pays off. That is why I dedicated a half marathon run to them before I said my goodbyes. That is why I left a city, a job and memories that I loved so much. I had other dreams to conquer, and I still do. I miss St. Louis all the time. I miss my friends, college days, Cherokee street Mexican food and runs in Forest Park. I freaking miss the City Museum and it kills me to think my kids might forget who I am. But you have to know when to say goodbye, not matter how much it hurts. You have to know when you have accomplished all you set out to and when it is time for a new challenge. 

I need to get out and see what the rest of the world is about.
This town ain't big enough for the one of me, I'm making a move.

What bittersweet goodbyes have you been through?

Sick of Goodbyes

Sick of Goodbyes-Sparklehorse

Yesterday was such a rough day of goodbyes. Jorge sent me that song and I think it is pretty fitting.

So, the goodbyes actually began Friday night. Will and Issac were in town for a week. I met them through Jorge and we hung out a bunch while they were in town. They are from Texas and they made me not hate all people from Baylor University. We did a lot of drinking, talking and eating during their time here. On Friday we went out to an all you can eat Parrilla (grill) that includes a bottle of wine per person. We had to wait a long time to be seated, which is why we all look sad in this photo. Left to right: Issac, me, Joan (Sho-aan), and Will. Joan is Kadhir's host brother from 2 years ago, he's still here, thankfully.

After stuffing ourselves with food and wine we went out for more drinks. We stayed out til 6am. I shared a cab home with Issac and it was a bummer to have to end our conversation and realize we wouldn't be seeing each other again.



Saturday morning I woke up early (early considering I went to bed at 6am) to catch a train with Jorge to San Isidro to hang out with Amina on her last day. We went to the San Isidro market so Amina could get a trenza (braided thread thing) put in her hair. It was fun to just walk around and hang out. I am so bummed that Amina and I got along so well and now she's leaving. We had to say a rushed goodbye on the train back to her house and it made me even more nervous about saying goodbye to Kadhir.

Kadhir and I went to dinner at this amazing Armenian place. It was delicious. After that we just picked up some Quilmes Red Lager (his favourite) and watched Arrested Development at my place. This is why I will miss Kadhir so much. He's my friend from the US who knows me and enjoys watching Arrested Development for hours straight. His cab to the airport was supposed to come at 4am. He showed up at 3:30 and even though we were both nodding off, I was sad. We hugged and said our quick goodbyes. I watched his cab drive off and felt like this was what my whole life seems to be now, saying goodbye and never knowing when I'll see anyone again. Watching Kadhir leave was kind of like saying goodbye to all my friends in the US all over again.

I woke up on Sunday still feeling a little upset. Luckily, I was off to San Isidro again to meet up with Jenny. I walked outside and it was raining and gloomy. Seriously, Buenos Aires, that's the kind of day you have for me right now? I got to San Isidro late because the trains run slow on Sundays and I couldn't find Jenny. Her phone was dead so I had no idea what to do other than wander around in the rain hoping she had waited. I even called Rosie to get her to check if Jenny was online. Thankfully, Jenny had gone home to charge her phone and call me so eventually, we actually found each other. We went to a cafe and had lunch which also turned into delicious cappuchinos with cookies. It was so awesome to just sit and talk with her, it made me feel so much better about all the goodbyes. We hung out there for hours. I told her how much I missed people just coming over to watch TV or something and she agreed and we made plans to have a wine and cheese night at my place on Tuesday. We're going to watch a movie or something. I am excited.

I'm definitely still bummed about all the goodbyes. It just brought up a lot of the memories of saying goodbye to everyone back home and made me sad to be at the age where everything ends and everyone spreads out all over the world. I still had an excellent time hanging out with Amina, Kadhir, Will and Issac while I could!

The arrival!

I didn't know if I was going to start a blog or not but I am finding that people are more interested in my life than I previously thought. So, because I don't want anyone to feel like I am leaving out all the good details when they ask me how I am doing, I will keep this blog.

I have been in Buenos Aires for 5 days now. Getting here was not easy. On Tuesday June 22nd I woke up at 3am so I could be out of the house by 3:30. My mom took me to the airport and we found American Airlines had quite a line for check in. We waited awhile and when we got up the the lady at the counter was very annoyed that I had to check my dog. I had made a reservation to do so, but she still seemed to be trying to convince me to leave him behind with my mom. She was sure it would be too hot in Miami for him to be allowed on the plane. In the end, of course, Padfoot was checked.

My mom bawled and I made her leave without watching me go through security. She gave me my "Love You Forever" book. She gave it to me when I was 10 with a long note written on the front cover. She said she had written in the back this time. I was teary eyed and refused to read it, because I knew I had a long way to go and I didn't need to start crying just yet.

The flight to Miami was fine. I sat next to a lady who loved dogs and Jesus and promised to say a prayer to St. Francis for Padfoot and I at 9pm when I our flight was scheduled to take off. In Miami I rushed to get Padfoot and he was fine! I got to take him out on a leash and he seemed totally fine walking next to me and my giant luggage cart. I made it to a food court where I watched the rest of the Mexico v. Uruguay game. I was sad Mexico lost.

Right after the game I got a scary phone call from the apartment agency in Buenos Aires. I had wired them $1640.00 so that I could move into my apartment right away. They said when they went to pick it up they were told my credit card had been declined. I told them that was impossible because I had paid in cash. I ended up having to call Western Union, the rep told me the money had been sent to Australia instead of Argentina. She insisted she could not fix that. I argued and suddenly she could fix it but it would cost me more money. I told her I was not paying more for their mistake and got a supervisor. I argued with him for while, he kept telling me I had to go back to the agent that did the transfer but in the end, I won, and the money was sent to the correct place.

After that ordeal I paid $8 to use WIFI, which is a total rip off but I needed to contact the apartment agency. I talked to Abby and started to get sad. Once again though, I told myself it was too early to get sad so I packed up my laptop and headed back to the food court to watch the Argentina game. It was fun because there was a woman from Argentina in the food court too so we both screamed at the first goal. It was a great game!

I walked Padfoot around the airport and to the animal relief area every so often. I was really impressed with how calm he was. However, he did bark at his own reflection, twice.

My flight left at 9pm, the American Airlines employee told me to check Padfoot at least an hour and a half ahead of time. I wanted to be extra safe so I went to check him at 6:30. My flight to BA was on LAN which is a Spanish speaking airline. When I brought Padfoot up the guy at the counter had me put him on the scale and then he told me the kennel looked too small. He said the dog had to be able to turn around completely. I insisted that Padfoot could but he wouldn't believe me. He proceeded to bring out several other employees to see what they thought. All of them just stared at it and said they weren't sure. They also asked if I had given him a tranquilizer and I said no because airlines and vets recommend that when pets are checked baggage they NOT be sedated so they can adjust when the plane moves. They looked at me like I was out of my mind. After several people had come and stared at the kennel it was looking like they were not going to allow him on the plane. I had held back all day but at this point, I was too tired and upset and I started crying. Not bawling, just a few tears but the guy at the counter kept saying "no llores no llores!" I explained to him (in Spanish) that I was moving to Buenos Aires and I wasn't even from Miami so how was I supposed to stop crying if they were going to make me leave my dog in Miami. Finally they brought one more person out and she had me take Padfoot out of the kennel and put him back in. When I did this, he turned around completely and she said "he turned around, what's the problem?" All that, for nothing. After that I was sent to a different floor to pay for the checked baggage and then had to come back up to actually check him. At this point they also seized one of my carry on bags saying it weighed too much. Luckily they didn't charge me for it. Of course, because of all this trouble I was horribly late and I arrived at my gate about 15 minutes before boarding. I called my mom as I promised I would and I couldn't help it, I cried. I cried because I was all flustered and I cried because I knew the next time I got that flustered there would be no one around to help me. I boarded the plane in tears and felt like an idiot. Two flight attendants asked me if I felt okay.

The flight was long, but I slept on and off and watched a movie. I got to the airport and rushed to the baggage area to ask where I would pick up my dog. They informed me he would be on the baggage carrel with all the other luggage. WTF! So I ran to the front of the line so I could grab him. I had to get a huge cart to carry my 3 suitcases and his kennel. He wasn't allowed out on his leash in this airport.

Once I got through customs and everything I didn't know what time it was and I was supposed to have a tax at 8:15. I asked a random man and of course, in true Argentina style, he had to talk to me for a bit and then gave me his card and told me to call him if I needed anything. I had planned on throwing it away but then I noticed it said River Plate on it. River Plate is the Buenos Aires soccer team. I asked him if "needing anything" included tickets. We talked and he said some of the guys he works with want to learn English so I told him I'd email him and maybe we could set something up. I emailed him already but I haven't heard back. Curses. I want futbol tickets!

My taxi came and it took about an hour to get to my apartment. I was falling asleep in the cab. Keep in mind I woke up at 3am on the 22nd. It was now 9:30am on the 23rd. I got to the apartment and they had all these papers for me to sign and my landlady was there to show me around. At this point I am so sleep deprived that everything has the potential to upset me. She showed me around and my apartment is typical argentina ghetto, everything is a couple decades behind. I have to light my heater with a match. When she shows me this I start feeling really homesick. She leaves around 10:30 and I immediately pull out the "Love You Forever" book my mom sent with me. I read the short novel she has written and of course, start bawling. I try to set up my computer and manage to get skype working so I can call my mom and tell her I made it okay. Of course, this was a terrible time to call because I was so tired and worked up over stupid little things. My mom started crying because I was crying, it was a mess.

I will be honest, it was at this point that I felt the worst. All of a sudden I realized how huge this move was. I was completely freaked out and I wanted to see someone but knew that everyone I am close to was at least 8,000 miles away. It was horrible. Luckily I fell asleep quickly and woke up to a phone call from my only friend in Buenos Aires, Jorge. He was checking in on me to make sure I made it okay and said he would see me that weekend. It really helped to know someone was here for me.

The rest of the day was hard but I realized the sleep deprivation really played into how horrible everything seemed. My apartment is not a shithole, I am not totally lost here, I can still talk to people from home. Being sleepy made me dramatic haha. I explored the area around my apartment, bought some groceries and talked to Abby and Rachel, all things that helped me quite a bit. Later in the day I got another phone call, this time from Chloe, a girl from England and another Au Pair. We made plans to meet up the next night and eventually meet up with a few other Au Pairs.

So, on Thursday I unpacked and explored then met up with the girls. I met Chloe (England), Jenny (Ireland), Rosie (Canada) and Danielle (US). We had drinks and it was really awesome to just hang out, especially with girls who had been through the same rough transition.

On Friday I hung out with Jorge and a few of his friends from work. This is when I first got to really use my Spanish and it was great. I had met one of the guys before, Galo, but we had spoken all English because not everyone in that group spoke Spanish. Galo complimented me on my Spanish and I didn't have trouble keeping up with the fast paced conversation at all. It was a good time. PLUS at 2am Mattias said he wanted ice cream and I discovered that in Buenos Aires you can get ice cream DELIVERED! At 2am! This is my kind of city, clearly.

Saturday was busy. I met up with my potential family. There are 3 kids, 10, 12, and 15, the youngest is the only girl, just like in my real family. The mom really liked me and was impressed with my qualifications but she is still deciding if she is okay with me not living there. They really want me to move in and even said I could bring Padfoot. I tried to consider it but once I saw my room and took the long bus ride back into the city I realized I feel much more comfortable having my own place in the heart of the city. I'm supposed to go meet the dad at his work (which is somewhat near me) on Thursday. If everything goes well I can start next week so wish me luck!

The buses ran really slow on Saturday so I was really late getting back to the city. I had to watch the US game in my apartment and I missed the first Ghana goal. I was pretty disappointed the US lost. Jenny came over for most of it and we just hung out. I got a call from Danielle and she said they had a couple who needed a last minute babysitter so I babysat from 7pm-1am. It was not bad at all. The kids were cute, it was a rich family from the US. They took my number and said they'd call me again, I hope they do!

Yesterday was the big game! I also navigated the subway on my own, even did a train transfer. Be impressed! I met up with Jorge at a hostel I stayed at last time because his friend owns it and lets us hang out there. The game was awesome, I was so pumped. Jorge found it hilarious that I was easily the most excited person there, decked out in my jersey and scarf. He took some photos of me while I was nervously watching. I missed Rachel and Ellen so much during the game! They should have been there. After the game we went into the streets and celebrated a bit before we got empanadas and headed home.

Today I have been applying like crazy to online translation, writing, and tutoring companies. I hate not working! If anyone knows of any online work, let me know!