Long Days and Pillow Fight Failures

It's been a little while. Sorry about that. I've been kind of stalling on writing an entry because I had a series of pretty shitty days. It seemed odd to put up a downer post right after "Freedom". Alas, such is life and I should be real.

My series of shitty days began 2 weekends ago, which was a pretty big social failure. I should note that people in Argentina, even expats who have now assimilated, are not known for their punctuality nor reliability. I had a weekend packed with plans involving 5 different people and only one plan/person didn't fail me. Thanks, Jorge! I had a lovely dinner at Sarki's (an excellent Armenian restaurant) with Jorge and his parents. They were both awesome and it was a fun time. After that, the weekend went downhill.

The week that followed was not any better. I was very stressed and after coming off a weekend of being bailed on, I really missed my dependable friends back home. In no way did it make me homesick, just friendsick. Keep the emails and Skype dates coming guys, because you are dearly missed.

I guess I cannot truly pinpoint why the past week was such an overall failure. I guess it was a combination of being stressed about budgets, receiving an email with unwanted information, being told I looked fat in a very matter of fact way right after an intensive workout, being bailed on multiple times, and plans just not working out as I had hoped. This weekend was supposed to make up for last weekend, I'll give it a B- for effort.

Friday night I went out with a new friend, Gaston. We went to a nice Mexican restaurant and I had delicious enchiladas for the first time since my arrival. I'll be honest and say these enchiladas were nowhere near as tasty as the Enchiladas Yolandas from Chimichangas, which I enjoyed with Ellen and Ben on my last night in STL. However, it was certainly the best Mexican I've had here. Gaston is one of my students so we started in English but thankfully we quickly switched to Spanish. Speaking English to my students actually is very tiring and literally hurts my face. You all know how fast I talk and how big my chipmunk cheeks are. I really have to force myself to concentrate on talking slowly and exaggerating my facial expressions. My cheeks are a lot of weight to move around and I generally end the day with face aches. Anyway, end of face ache tangent. The food was good, conversation was also fun. The night ended early, around 12:30 (that's really early here). I could have gone to a friend's house who was having a get together but I wasn't feeling up to a social disappointment so I worked on Travelated and chatted with Adam and Cole online. I enjoyed Friday night.

Saturday was supposed to be pretty awesome. It started great, with a delicious delivered sushi lunch with Jorge. After that, there was an event, LUCHA DE ALMOHADAS (PILLOW FIGHT) that involved thousands of people gathering in Bosques de Palermo (a big outdoor green area) and having a giant pillow fight. Obviously, this sounds amazing. The event has happened twice before and had great turnouts. This was not the case this year. Jorge and I walked through the streets, carrying our pillows and became more and more aware of the fact that no one else was carrying pillows. We arrived and found a group of maybe 40 people. It was so awkward we decided to turn around and leave. Disappointment.

However, Jorge and I did manage to salvage the day a bit. We walked though the Bosques de Palermo, enjoyed the scenery and Jorge snapped some nice shots of our pillow adventures.
As we walked home we had several of our own spontaneous pillow fights, most of which Jorge won. He's very tall, serious height advantage. We decided to get ice cream (I swear it was Jorge's idea first!) and we went to one of my favourite places, Crepes and Waffles where Jorge and I ordered the same waffle which included chocolate sauce, dulce de leche, bananas and a scoop of vanilla.

After that, we both felt happier and sleepier.


I spent a large part of my Saturday evening watching bad television and working on Travelated. Jenny and Jorge came over for dinner and drinks but after dinner I was so tired and spaced out/upset I just wanted to go to bed, which I did.

Sunday was hectic. Gracia was supposed to call me on Friday or Saturday to let me know what time she needed me. I generally work 4-9 but this Sunday was the party for Coca, the grandma. Yes, her name is Coca. Gracia forgot to do this so I got a text at 11:00, which was 10 minutes after I woke up, telling me to be there at 12 or 12:30. San Isidro is far away, especially when taking into account the slower schedule of Sunday buses. I would have needed to leave at that moment to be sure I'd arrive on time. I quickly showered and had to kick Jenny out (she was crashing on my couch) and headed to work. I spent most of the day being sassed by the 13 year old and scrubbing outdoor chairs. I didn't mind so much, I was kind of looking forward to the family party. This was a mistake. I was thinking, families tend to like me and include me. I speak great Spanish so no one will be afraid to speak to me. Wrong. I sat awkwardly at a table of food that I mostly couldn't eat due to the meat content and tried to work my way into family conversations. Once I realized I couldn't make that happen I ate a lot of cake and cookies to occupy my time and hands. I hovered between the small children who were too young for me and the adults who were too old for me. My best social interaction of the night was with the 1 1/2 year old who took quite a liking to me and pulled me around the house in circles. I continuously cleared dishes and tidied up, feeling more like a maid than anything else. It made me miss the Mortons terribly and saddened me to know that I really have no family celebrations to look forward to at all.

That made my outlook for the week look bleak, but today did not turn out so bad at all. I tutored early as usual but did not have to work after 11am due to a lot of student cancellations. I actually hate cancellations because they affect my salary, but today I just went with it. I had lunch plans with another potential new friend, Andres. I had a nice lunch then worked out a lot. I also love Mondays because it is Travelated meeting day. I had an excellent meeting with Alex and Emily and we are all very confident the site will be in excellent shape for the big push on Monday, October 4th. I am so passionate about this site and my partners, I know it's going to be a success. There will be a blog about the push, don't you worry. I feel as if I have a weekend love affair with Travelated; I await the extra time all week then cram in as much work as I can during all hours of the night. I think it's a great relationship.

Things to look forward to:

• Several new friend hang outs
• Weekend in Colonia, Uruguay with Jenny this weekend
• Getting off the boat at 3am in Colonia and immediately going out drinking
  
• Bike rides in Colonia in 70 degree weather
• Another Sunday off work
• Travelated launch!

So, in conclusion, I think the rough waters are clearing up. Here's to what I hope is an awesome week and weekend.

For more photos and overall awesomeness check out Jorge's blog.

Freedom

Back when I kept a different online journal, one much more like a diary than this one, I remember creating a post highlighting how sad I was when one day while driving "You Remind Me Of Home" by Ben Gibbard came on and the refrain pounded painfully into my head:
"...in a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen...
You're wasting your life, wasting your life
wasting your life, wasting your life"

Why do I bring this up? I am making the most of my life now. I want to say it-- or type it--loud and clear: I'm free.

I have always been a complete workaholic, totally focused on the future and my success. In the past, it never occurred to me that I might be holding myself back, or at least letting my far too limited description of success get in the way.

This isn't totally, new, of course. I have been trapped before and I always realize it and get out. I know that there is no point in living a life that feels like work. Towards the end of high school I was miserable in my suburban town and desperately needed to better myself. I knew it made much more financial sense to live at home and commute to school, but I couldn't compromise my happiness.

At the end of university I knew I hated my well-paying marketing job. I knew I was better than that pointless cubicle and I wasn't willing to start paying off the $50,000 debt I accrued while working towards two degrees that had absolutely nothing to do with my current job.

I worked one wonderful year at St. Cecilia's School and Church. I cried when I left because looking back, I knew there had not been a single day that I had woken up and not wanted to go to work. That is true happiness.

However, it was definitely time for me to move on. I had long since outgrew St. Louis. I know that I knew that long before I was ready to admit it to myself, my friends or my family. I was trapped, but didn't want to be. It's hard to know that even people and things you love can be holding you back.

I have not once regretted this move. In fact, it only makes me realize that I waited too long and that I truly have no real reason to rush back to the US. Friends, before you flip out, of course I miss you. I miss you so much more than I can even express and I still am not used to not being able to text you, see your face, or hang out at all. However, the expat life is calling and I need to roll with it.

I love being happy with my work and not caring about being rich. I have 3 jobs, 4 including my work with Travelated. I could be working a lot more hours at my better paying English teaching job if I would just quit the others, but I refuse to do that. I had a talk with my boss from the English Institute about my Au Pair work. She just could not understand why I would travel an hour to San Isidro and an hour back into the city center 4 days a week when I could get paid more with her, right in the city. She said "Rease, is that even profitable for you?" My answer? "Not especially, but I miss working with kids and these kids make me really happy. I enjoy it."

Am I making money off of Travelated? No, not yet. Hopefully when we do the full push, that will change, but for now, I still have so much fun meeting with Alex and Emily via Skype and spending hours working on the site.

My life here is full of new experiences and challenges. I've learned more than just culture and language, I've put myself in uncomfortable situations and excelled. I make business phone calls in Spanish. I talk to random people in coffee shops because I like the music they are playing. I play squash at least twice a week. Have I ever won a game? Nope. I may not be amazing, but I can really hold my on on the court now and I promise you, my first victory is in the making and I am really enjoying the challenge.

Money will always be necessary, but "profitability" will never be my main concern and I will never be appearing crazy stop me from doing something I want to do. I really hope all of you live the way you want to and the not the way you feel you have to.

For more motivational thoughts, please check out my friend Emily's blog post "Independence". We seemed to have both had the same idea for a post and I like it.

Also, for your enjoyment, some proof that I really do play squash:

Hate Mail

I'd like to dedicate this post to all the sad, poorly educated people perusing the internet.

I received some hate mail! Well, it was actually a hate Facebook message from a completely random Argentine. I'd like to showcase these messages here and also show you how grammar and spelling seem to be a great challenge for the current generation, regardless of location.

Message 1: "volve a misuri"
Grammatically correct version: "Volvé a Misuri"
Translation: "Go back to Missouri"

Message 2: "odio a los jankis , y a las malditas perras que bien de otros paises a querer jusgarnos , cuando no pueden ser feliz en sus propios paises volvetet a tu pais bolita de mierdaperra arrastrada "
Grammatically correct version: "Odio a los yankis y a las malditas perras que vienen de otros paises a querer juzgarnos cuando no pueden ser felices en sus propios paises. Volvéte a tu pais bolita de mierda, perra arrastrada."
Translation: I hate yankees and the fucking bitches that come from other countries to want to judge us when they can't be happy in their own countries. Go back to your country little ball of shit, dragged/groveling/lame (?) bitch."

My first reaction was to reply "Vené a tu país para ayudar a pobres idiotas como vos hablar en su propio idioma”
Translation: "I came to your country to help poor idiots like you speak in your own language. "

However, I took a moment to think about the effort this random person put into these hate messages. He must have spent time searching for people in Buenos Aires with foreign hometowns. My profile is private, so all he would see is my hometown, current city and profile photo. He then spent the time to scribble out a poorly spelled message to tell me to go back to Missouri. After that message he must have spent some time steaming and simply fuming over the audacity of my decision to invade his country and then decided he needed to write yet another message.

So here's to you, Fabian Santillan. Sadly, for you, I will not be leaving your country any time soon. I can actually be happy in multiple countries, while you seem to be unable to be happy in any place at any time. Thanks for spending so much time to express your feelings. I didn't come here to judge the citizens of this country, but I certainly had a good time judging you. Thanks for the laugh!

Coffee Shop Nights and Days Full of Running

I've been busy in the best of ways. I've got a pretty decent amount of students now, though I could definitely take on a few more, especially after dropping one especially creepy student. I vaguely mentioned that episode in the last post, let's just say it was really unfortunate and I might start carrying mace.

I've also been working really hard to get Travelated ready. One night last week I had a coffee shop night in my house. How do you like my set up of a laptop, instant cappuccino and medialunas bought from the bakery on the way home? I realize I have never fully explained Travelated so I shall do so now. Obviously, it's a website focused on travel. Alex is the founder and does the web design as well as the advertiser relationships. Emily is the Editor, she writes original articles and also hunts out/edits traveler submissions. I am a Staff Writer and the Travel Advisor, which means I get to write a lot of articles and also serve as the the expert on traveling and living abroad. I also help out with advertiser stuff and will be getting into that more as the site grows. The hope is to get users to regularly visit the site and also sign up for our monthly newsletter, which will consist of travel deals (like coupon codes and discounts), travel blogs, helpful travel tips, etc. We also allow comments on all posts and traveler article submissions- so if you would like to write something for us please let me know!

I'm really proud of this site and excited about it. I know I always take on too much but this is something I really love doing. I hated working in Search Engine Marketing before because I hated how the company I worked for managed it and I also hated the company. However, I was always pretty good at my job. I'm pumped to be working with Alex again, who was always my best coworker at Announce Media and Emily is a really talented writer and knows how to get the site attention. The articles are fun to write, this part of my working life hardly feels like work. We're hoping to do a big push for publicity next month so I will be bothering all of you to help me out.

I also started working as a Personal Assistant. I actually enjoy it. I work for a woman named Janet, or really the entire Choi family, Janet, Doug and their 2 children Alyosha (3) and Soren (7). They're a Korean-American family living here, they speak Spanish but not completely fluently and they are also just busy, admittedly unorganized people. This week my tasks included researching deep freezers, portable air conditioners, Argentina business health insurance plans and Argentina vaccination abbreviations. This requires a lot of phone calls in Spanish and writing up reports that summarize everything I have found. I know that sounds really boring but it really forces me to use my Spanish in interesting ways. Did I know how to properly say "coverage for pre-existing conditions" before this week? I cannot say that I did. I also get to use my experience with kids because I write up detailed activities and make little educational play kits for Alyosha. I created a template that Janet loved, a completely bilingual set up, with materials needed, instructions and also a section explaining what educational or physical developmental benefit each activity has, so that both Janet and the day maid/nanny can understand the instructions and purpose. This job was made for me.

This weekend will be a pretty relaxed one and I am not the least bit upset about that. Last night I cooked myself a delicious meal, even after failing twice at the grocery store looking for ingredients. It was a rainy night so it felt perfect to stay in, watch a movie and work on new Travelated articles. I also had ice cream delivered. I love that I can order ice cream at midnight and it is at my door in 15 minutes. I also like that I caught the delivery guy practicing his dance moves outside my building. Today has been pretty active, but not in a stressful way. I slept for 9 hours, which is always glorious. I woke up, did 40 minutes of yoga then went for a 90 minute run. After showering and eating lunch I packed some lemonade and fruit and ventured back out with Padfoot. This might have been the most stressful part of my day thus far, as Padfoot has completely snapped since his arrival. He is no longer the trembling, nervous little puppy that hides from passing dogs. He is now in complete survival, aggressive mode. Any dog of any size is viewed as a deathly threat and must be barked and growled at incessantly. I can just imagine him thinking, surely the choking sensation of the collar means nothing, my master most certainly would want me to make a fool out of myself and embarrass her in the streets!
I managed to drag him to a bench a little off the main trail and he stayed calm for about 30 minutes, allowing me to get some reading done. Once he started barking at leaves blowing in the wind, I decided if was time to go home.


I had to trick him into looking at me to snap this photo. Don't let that face fool you, he is no innocent puppy. He is a barking, growling, self-choking mess.

I am now exhausted, so I will have a little coffee and snack break before going back to the grocery store so I can cook the dinner I had intended to cook yesterday. I'm also meeting up with Jorge and his dad tonight to go to a German Pub for a variety of beers and cheeses. Jorge's dad just popped in from Colombia today for a surprise visit so now I get to meet him. Should be fun!

Fun Analysis

"I did some analysis and realized I hadn't enjoyed life enough"

My friend Shobie just said this to me and it seemed like something I would say. "I did some analysis". Who else needs to analyze fun? I think that fits right in with my 40 year old logic/7 year old interests theory.

However, I am also in complete agreement with Shobie about remedying the results of this analysis. My life in Buenos Aires is not about work. Yes, work will always be necessary, this is a resume building experience and of course, I will never escape my true workaholic nature, but I am here to have an adventure and allow myself to have the fun I always should have been having. I didn't do any extracurricular activities in high school because I was working. I didn't get very involved in university because I was working so much I could hardly sleep. I wasted part of my youth. I don't have regrets, but I'm shutting down that pattern here and now.

• I completely refuse to schedule any work on Saturdays.
• I also refuse to schedule any morning work on Wednesdays. 9am-2pm is completely reserved for playing Squash, going out for lunch and relaxing before working with the family.
• I only have 30 hours of scheduled work then just 4-12 flexible hours through my newest job (see below for description).

This brings me to the Buenas Noticias part of my post!

• Got a new job today as a "Personal Assistant" for the Choi family (a Korean-American family living in BsAs who I occasionally babysit for). The hours are super flexible and the tasks are varied but easy. I will be helping Janet organize her life/schedule as well as taking some work off her hands such as making phone calls in Spanish, running errands, organizing their home. I also get to work on creating developmentally appropriate games for their two children, Soren (7) and Alyosha (3) . I love that I get to use my Spanish and kid skills! This job also plays into my more relaxed schedule very nicely.
• Shobie is coming for Christmas! This is old news but we've been planning out some activities and plans. So far Tango dancing, beaches and parillas have all made the list. I'm so excited and grateful his visit.
• Erin is coming in March! Yes, that is right, two scheduled visits. I cannot wait!

Small Victories

• Jenny and I spent a signficant amount of time searching for a giant bar of chocolate and stumbled upon this delight:
• 
• Cooked this vegetably delicious meal of asparagus, onions and red peppers and breaded eggplant for myself after a terrible and slightly frightening student sexual harassment episode:
• 
• Spent 45 minutes with my Ipod, a book and a Fanta Zero laying on a park bench in the sun. One of my arms now has a more pronounced farmer's tan.
• 

Delicious Fanta, sun, and totally bitchy sunglasses.

Words That Make Me Smile

I realized a lot of people have put some pretty amazing things in writing since I decided to make this move. I collected a few of them here and they really make me happy. Thank you to anyone who has written or said anything wonderful and encouraging to me. I love you all.

"As sad as I am to see you leave St. Louis, I definitely know that it is something you had to do. Actually, I didn't expect you to stay around even this long. You are definitely bound for greater things than St. Louis can provide."

"I think plan A was to do something awesome with your life and live abroad and get a great experience out of it. Plan B was settling for some place in the US. I really just think you went back to Plan A."

"I'm proud of you for making such a bold move. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate woman with so much going for you and so much to offer. There aren't many people your age who have it so together. "

"I really admire you for being able to take such a big step into the unknown"

"I am so excited for you. Your life is going to be epic"

"I know you are going to accomplish incredible things and I can't wait to see where life takes you"

"You have exceeded my expectations. You were always wanting to be more grown up than you were. You will always be my "Angel Baby", no matter how old you are."

Thanks everyone. I love it here. I am happy and so lucky to have your support.