"...in a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen...
You're wasting your life, wasting your life
wasting your life, wasting your life"
Why do I bring this up? I am making the most of my life now. I want to say it-- or type it--loud and clear: I'm free.
I have always been a complete workaholic, totally focused on the future and my success. In the past, it never occurred to me that I might be holding myself back, or at least letting my far too limited description of success get in the way.
This isn't totally, new, of course. I have been trapped before and I always realize it and get out. I know that there is no point in living a life that feels like work. Towards the end of high school I was miserable in my suburban town and desperately needed to better myself. I knew it made much more financial sense to live at home and commute to school, but I couldn't compromise my happiness.
At the end of university I knew I hated my well-paying marketing job. I knew I was better than that pointless cubicle and I wasn't willing to start paying off the $50,000 debt I accrued while working towards two degrees that had absolutely nothing to do with my current job.
I worked one wonderful year at St. Cecilia's School and Church. I cried when I left because looking back, I knew there had not been a single day that I had woken up and not wanted to go to work. That is true happiness.
However, it was definitely time for me to move on. I had long since outgrew St. Louis. I know that I knew that long before I was ready to admit it to myself, my friends or my family. I was trapped, but didn't want to be. It's hard to know that even people and things you love can be holding you back.
I have not once regretted this move. In fact, it only makes me realize that I waited too long and that I truly have no real reason to rush back to the US. Friends, before you flip out, of course I miss you. I miss you so much more than I can even express and I still am not used to not being able to text you, see your face, or hang out at all. However, the expat life is calling and I need to roll with it.
I love being happy with my work and not caring about being rich. I have 3 jobs, 4 including my work with Travelated. I could be working a lot more hours at my better paying English teaching job if I would just quit the others, but I refuse to do that. I had a talk with my boss from the English Institute about my Au Pair work. She just could not understand why I would travel an hour to San Isidro and an hour back into the city center 4 days a week when I could get paid more with her, right in the city. She said "Rease, is that even profitable for you?" My answer? "Not especially, but I miss working with kids and these kids make me really happy. I enjoy it."
Am I making money off of Travelated? No, not yet. Hopefully when we do the full push, that will change, but for now, I still have so much fun meeting with Alex and Emily via Skype and spending hours working on the site.
My life here is full of new experiences and challenges. I've learned more than just culture and language, I've put myself in uncomfortable situations and excelled. I make business phone calls in Spanish. I talk to random people in coffee shops because I like the music they are playing. I play squash at least twice a week. Have I ever won a game? Nope. I may not be amazing, but I can really hold my on on the court now and I promise you, my first victory is in the making and I am really enjoying the challenge.
Money will always be necessary, but "profitability" will never be my main concern and I will never be appearing crazy stop me from doing something I want to do. I really hope all of you live the way you want to and the not the way you feel you have to.
For more motivational thoughts, please check out my friend Emily's blog post "Independence". We seemed to have both had the same idea for a post and I like it.
Also, for your enjoyment, some proof that I really do play squash:
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteyup.